Sunday, August 23, 2009

JOY For Our Journey~~Puddleduckin It

Hi Sweet Friends!!
Many of you are probably familiar with this
adorable and precocious little duck.
She is one of Beatrix Potter's creations. Oh
yes, she can find some mischief, but that is
not how I felt I related to her yesterday.
You see, I have been working on organizing
these piles of stuff that had been moved
around from other places I organized into
my bedroom. There was all manner of stuff like
memorabilia, craft supplies, paperwork,
and little annoying odds and ends that I have
no idea where to put!!
Well, it never seems to fail that as I sift through,
I stumble onto something that
causes me to reflect on things in the past.
Such was the case yesterday.
I found a photo taken at my sister's house
with my Dad and Mom, just a week before
my Mom drew in her last breath. I felt like I
had been punched in the stomach, and let
out a big sigh.
I've seen the picture often since that day,
and you would think that 5 years later I
might just be able to smile and put it
down. Quite the contrary. I recalled the
day that photo was snapped in detail.
Alzheimer's had taken so much away from
my Mom, but as I was kneeling next to her,
my arm on the arm of the chair, she spied
this pretty little turquoise bracelet I had on
that was just loaded with dangly beads.
She had a passion for jewelry, and especially
jewelry that had "motion" to it. As best as she
could, she reached over with her hand, moved
the beads with her finger, mumbled words
I couldn't understand,
and her face just beamed with JOY!
What an incredible delight it was that day
to see her half-mouthed smile and her face
light up, but as I was looking at her in this
photo yesterday, all I could do was cry and cry
some more. Oh how I love and miss my
I literally felt like I was in a puddle of tears. I
even had that thought and the next thought
of Jemima Puddleduck. I was smack in the
middle of a puddle of tears, just watching each one
splash and ripple in the water. I just wanted
to stay in the puddle and feel sad.
Then I began feeling like I couldn't stop
and was trying to
get a grip, you know?

That's when I remembered all the joy I saw
on my Mom's face that day. She was still
in there!! The Alzheimer's hadn't taken
all of her!!! My tears began to slow, and
I just savored the JOY! I mean I really
savored it. I held it close to me like a mother
holds her baby, and it warmed me from the
inside out.
I thank God for His wonderful blessing that
day; for giving me something I could take JOY
in even years after the loss of my Mom, and at
a time of such deep pain.
My friends, what a tender, loving, compassionate
God! He knows our needs so perfectly.
And He delights in meeting them, and showing
us how deeply He loves us!!
How Great A Joy!!
Praying today that the joy of the Lord will
be your strength, your reason to smile
and to praise His Holy Name!
Love you!


  1. love you, becky! thanks for sharing your mom with me, such wonderful memories :)

  2. Amen, Becky, thank you for sharing your sorrow, your tears, and your comfort from the Lord with US! He truly fills us with Joy.

  3. Such a sweet story! We are struggling through my grandmother's Alzheimer's now. And you're right, there are moments when we realize "the Big A," as we call it, hasn't taken all of her. Such a precious post!

  4. Thankyou for sharing those moments.
    We do not go through anything that Jesus has not gone through, and God knows what we need to get through things.
    Cling on and treasure those snippets full of Joy.
    God is perfect, God is good and God is so compassionate. What A God we have.


  5. Good Morning Becky,
    Am so glad the Lord used that sorrowful time to bring such Joy to your heart in the end.
    He knows when there is still grief that needs to come out, and loves to transform our pain into joy, ashes for beauty. He is such a good, loving, and compassionate Father, caring about any and everything we care about.
    Oh, If not for the Love of our Heavenly Father
    where would we be without Him!!
    It is such a blessing to feel the way you feel
    about your Mom even tho it is such a painful thing - It is a good painful thing!!
    Good talking to you last night, and so glad you are making such progress on your bedroom,
    that is such a great feeling isn't it!!
    Well, Sweetie, you have a great Monday.
    Love ya, Nellie

  6. Oh Beck,
    May God continue to cradle your tender heart!
    I can picture you kneeling by your precious Mom and loving on her. And herjoy at your bracelet!
    That is truly a memory to cherish!

    If you have time, check out Tony's sermon yesterday on the 10th Commandment. It's posted on the church website.

    Sending my love always and a Big HUG!

  7. Becky, I relate to your story more than you know. We lost our Mom to Alzheimer's six years before she died, it was one of the biggest heartbreaks of my life, and for sure the biggest heartbreak of my Dad's life. But every once in awhile God would Bless us with a glimpse of my Mom inside, there was one specific episode that made me see she wasn't a lost soul. I wrote a post about it early on when I first started blogging. It was a ray of hope, a Gift God Blessed me with in a hopeless situation. That was years ago, and like you, I treasure that moment to this day.
    Love and Prayers,

  8. Oh Becky, my heart feels your pain and I weep with you and rejoice with you.
    I love that you shared the story of the dangly bracelet and saw the joy on your angelmother's precious face. I'm sending you a great BIGBEARHUG!

    Love the picture of Jemima Puddleduck! Totally love it and I'm a huge Beatrix Potter fan.
    The potting shed puddleducks have discovered our goldfish pond and taken up residence in it. They still refuse to go to THE BIG POND tho. I wonder if I could get hairdoo to wear a bonnet and shawl to have her picture taken?
    Probably not; she's a duck with too much attitude.

    I love ya honey! May God's love splash all over you today, and fill you with His comfort and peace.

  9. We lost my Grandma to Alzheimer's about 5 years ago as well - Oh, how I miss her. I remember that even when she no longer knew me she could still sing all the hymns she so loved!!

    I believe with all my heart that God had a plan and she had a purpose even though most in our society would think her life no longer had any use. She taught me so much compassion and love even when she couldn't do anything for herself any longer - she was filled with grace even to the end. God used her to teach me - a young mother so many lessons through her illness (she had it for 16 years before she went to Jesus)

    I thank God for allowing her to linger here even though the world would say differently!! I'm so glad you saw joy yesterday - joy in God's plan for your Mom - His plan is still at work through her!!!

    Your Mom must have been a beautiful wonderful woman - I see such tenderness and joy in you!!

    Have a wonderful day and thank you for sharing!!

  10. Having a mom with Alzheimer's, I can so appreciate this post. It brought me to tears.


  11. My father has Alzheimer's. My father in law has Alzheimer's. It's devastating to watch the decline of those you love.

    My father has forgotten my sister who is 9 years younger than I am.

    For whatever the reason, a measure of God's unmerited favor, he has not forgotten me.

    Bless you friend. This is surely a journey NONE of us want to make. I pray my children are spared watching anyone they love suffer from this terrible disease...

    I know parts of my father are alive deep inside him. I miss my chats with him about his faith...and his sharing of deep love for his kids...

    Love to you...beautiful post.


  12. Hi Becky, I so understand your pain but am rejoicing that the Joy of the Lord is your strength. I miss my loved ones so much but so glad I know where they are.
    Have a great you lots.

  13. Becky, I have been pondering this post for a whole day. It is so poignant and so close to my heart. Losing your mom is one of those things that only can be understood after it happens to you. Nothing I have ever experienced has evoked more emotion in me than perhaps birth to my own kids. It will be six years for me on November 15 since my mom died. I don't think a day goes by that I don't think of her. It is common I think that certain things will just set you off when you least expect it. Bless your sweet heart, Becky, your mom was blessed to be loved so deeply by such a wonderful daughter.

    When something like that happens to you, you realize that death cannot really separate you from the love you have for another person~especially your mother. It is an eternal relationship. Love you, girl! Take good care!

  14. So glad you could find joy in that memory. Blessings!

  15. Missing Your Mother, is something I think we will never get over. The first five years were the hardest for me. I sometimes miss her so much, once since I was sick about 3 years ago. I had passed out and the paramedic were called in, Hubby got me to the motor home and I was crying for my Mother. He went back miles to our home place and got me Mother's Table, I love having it, and enjoy the memories of Mother serving everyone needs. She was a great cook. We shall always hold our Mother's close in our hearts, and know there will be times we miss them most!My Mother sister died a few weeks ago, it was really hard, for I missed my Mother even more! For me it now even harder for I think about my daughter's, with surgery again around the corner. My daughter told me yesterday. Mama, please change your surgery date, I do not want to lose you on my Birthday. For I shall be in the hospital several weeks, and on her Birthday. It is the only available date for an all day surgery. OK, I letting in thing I trying not! lol I am going to enjoy life and Remember all the good times as you with the so special story of the bracelet! It said Mother's hold their children in their hearts forever, well we hold our Mother's there too! Miss talking to you! But I been on an emotional roller coaster, way to much lately! I am so tired today, did a party for hubby last night and wiped me out! lol Hubby says we ARE going to Destin, Florida in a few weeks, wonder if I can talk him in to coming on down? Stop by his website and leave him a message and tell him We want to meet! lol

  16. My MIL suffered from Alzheimer's. The devastation to watch her strength & fiesty spirit diminish to a whole different person & personality ... beyond words. It was heart breaking to watch Pa suffer for his wife. No one wishes to travel this road ... nor experience anyone else lost to this disease. The Lord gives us the strength to be there for them, the pain can be insurmountable ... relish the moments & memories of their souls. TTFN ~Marydon

  17. What a precious treasure, this JOY, a fruit of the Holy SPirit, that I wonder how many of us know very much about. IT reaches past our circumstances, giving a strength with courage that does not disappoint. May God continue to fill you with His JOY, unspeakable! Such a beautiful story of how our God knows just what we need, when we need it most!

  18. Oh dear Becky what a sweet post. I can so identify. My mom did not die of Alzheimer's but she had a 2 year decline from liver failure and it disabled her and took away so much of her world. Many times I would run across a picture of mom during those sick years and just sorrow over her death. The Lord is the only thing that got me through losing her. I know she is with the Lord and I know she loved the Lord above all else! I wouldn't bring her back, but it still doesn't stop the missing from time to time. It is in those thoughts that I think, "O come Lord Jesus and take us home!"

  19. Hi Becky,
    I can't even begin to imagine what it's like to have a parent with Alzheimer's disease. You just have to reflect on all teh good memories when your Mom was alive, all the things she taught you, and the joy she instilled in your heart. You are a living legacy fresh back from your family reunion, continuing on with your parents wishes...they are smiling down on your from heaven, not suffering, wishing your heart wasn't heavy missing them. I'm glad you were able to find some joy, even though you miss them terribly. BTW, I am partial to Squirrel Nutkin, as is goes well with the Acorn Cottage house of woodland creatures. We do have bunnies here as well as an assortment of other creatures that grace our yard, including three deer last week!

    Smiles, Nancy

  20. Becky this is such a poignant post. I still have my mom so I can't truly understand your pain. I do know the cruelty of Alzheimer's though as I am seeing it in some of our older friends. I'm so glad for your realization that a kernel of her personality was still there even at the end of her life. My thoughts and prayers are with you.

  21. Thanks for posting a message in my blog.
    I lost my father to Alzheimer one year and a half ago, I still miss him so much, but right now I'm starting to think of him not when he was ill, but of him in his good days.
    Gracie at

  22. Thank you for sharing your heart! What a hard thing for you to have to go through. You know I'm right there with you, praying for you, hugging you through my computer! How beautiful that you were able to find the joy in the picture. And how perfect that verse is, "The joy of the Lord is your strength." It's not always easy, but through the Lord we can have and experience joy when we're having a rough day. Maybe one day you can share the picture with us!

  23. Hi Becky,
    Now I'm crying too.
    Memories do fill our hearts with sadness and Joy. You felt both all at once.I think we are sad for our loved one and sad for our self too. I don't think we ever get over missing someone. But as you say we have to savor the Joy of them.
    Enjoy your day,

  24. What a precious post, Becky. Thanks for sharing this tender moment with your mom with us. I know this has touched many hearts.

    I think sometimes that God sits by our side while we cry and empty ourselves, so that He can embrace us and fill us with his love and strength again.

    I can't imagine the sadness that goes along with seeing a parent struggle with Alzheimers. My dad had dementia the last 2 1/2 months of his life and it was heart wrenching just for that short time, to see him loose the ability to communicate. But like with your mom, there were moments of joy with him.

    Thanks again Becky for opening your heart- blessings to you sweety.


  25. Thank you for writing all that. It gives me joy to think back to Nana's beautiful smile and those times when I still saw the real her beaming through. I was just telling my sister in law tonight while we were visiting them at their house, as she showed me old pictures of her grandparents, that I will NEVER forget the times that I would bring Jeff over to their place and she would literally beam when he walked through the door despite not knowing who he was. I can't even find words to express all the emotion I would feel when she would do that. And even knowing how much I believe she loved him helped as I walked down the isle to marry him though I wished she were there. And again on the day I had Karina. SO thank you for there is joy in our memories and God can bring those to mind! Praise HIM!! Love you!


Thank you so much for taking the time to share some JOY!
You're a blessing to me!